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As Johnny Cash says, “Love is a burnin’ thing….”

December 21, 2013

Today was a pajama wearing, all day baking and soda drinking, Pandora blasting Billy Joel and Elton John- kind of day…. So I slept in and got up, threw a robe over my pj’s and slipped my slippers on and went to work on baking. The kids asked, “what’s for lunch?” I said, “no lunch, just snacks!” So first up was chocolate chip cookies. Not the homemade kind yet, I will make those tomorrow. This was the bag kind that u just add an egg and butter to and a splash of vanilla.  And according to Ryan,  are the best cookies I ever made. Now let me just preface this and say, just because I burn one or two frozen pizzas and a few loaves of garlic bread, and bake a chocolate cake to the point that you can’t really chew it, doesn’t mean I CAN’T BAKE. It means, as usual, I am late getting to the oven when the timer goes off…. or just late in remembering to turn on the timer. So when I told Ryan I was baking today, he thought I meant burning….silly Ryan.

As you can see, Maddy loved licking the spoon <paddle>.

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Cameron was busy playing with grapes and toothpicks….Making some character called General Grievous or Darth Mol. I don’t know which because I don’t know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. Don’t get me started and don’t try to explain. I hear it daily from the kids.

And guess what, I didn’t burn the cookies!

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So after a cookies and milk break, I made spinach dip with Hawaiian bread dippers and Jalapeno sausage balls. Then came the Pinterest project our neighbor, Mary made for the boys for Christmas…

20131221_13125020131221_131257 Super cute packaging! Sugar dough ready to bake with sprinkles and cookie cutters attached. Looks easy…”Looks” being the operative word.

Let me begin by saying I have never made sugar cookies before. Ryan didn’t hesitate to mention that he loves sugar cookies and snickerdoodles as well. In 14 plus years of marriage and dating, I don’t remember seeing Ryan eat any sugar cookies nor snickerdoodles OR request them… So Mary says just roll out the dough to 1/4″ thick and use the cookie cutters and decorate. ok……

Here’s another suggestion…and perhaps Christmas hint to Ryan. Maybe it works better on granite countertops?

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Because my trusty rolling-pin of 10+ years tore that dough apart. Wait! That can’t be right. That makes that rolling-pin and me sound old….so scratch that, rewrite….My trusty rolling-pin of 5 years failed. So I tried with my Pampered Chef rolling-pin. Same result. So I just went with it.

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Now, here’s where the granite request is valid….It was hard to pick those cookies up without breaking them. So I used a spatula but even then they started to tear. I firmly believe the granite would have prevented this. Just sayin….Also, I didn’t think you were supposed to bake sprinkles? So I baked two batches and by the way, they don’t cook as long as a chocolate chip cookie does… They should put that somewhere on sugar cookie dough.  Then the light bulb went off…Hey, how are the sprinkles going to stick to hard, over-baked cookies….So I quickly posted that question as to when to apply the sprinkles, before or after-baking, on Facebook. The majority said, “after”…on to the last batch…

20131221_135430  See that non-burnt, greasy, messy cookie sheet below the sugar cookies? Well those are sausage, cheesy, jalapeno balls. And they aren’t burnt. You want them to look like that so you know you won’t get salmonella or raw sausage eating sickness.

20131221_133050 This was the remainder of the cookie dough…See that sad little star all smooshed…But see my little polka-dotted slipper?! Ok, back to the cookies. I forgot the parchment. So I had Maddy hold the parchment over the sheet while I tried to flip it. Sounds smart, right? Nope, those suckers stuck the sheet. So I banged on the back of the sheetpan and they popped off but broke. Which Maddy did not approve. I told him we could smoosh them together and the sprinkles would cover it but he didn’t approve of that either. He gets that from Ryan….

So I decided to put the parchment-lined sugar cookies on the table and have them decorate to their heart’s content.

20131221_135626But first Maddy has to try to repair all the broken ones….while Cameron thought it would be cool to have all the openings open at the same time….I told him if we were in a Charlie Brown cartoon, he would be Pigpen.

20131221_135856Maddy is very particular. Trees can only be green, stars can only be red. I don’t know if he gets that from me or Ryan. I would say me, because Ryan likes to go all out and add all kinds of crazy stuff to ice cream, whereas I am a strict vanilla, chocolate, strawberry kind of girl with basic toppings, as Maddy is too. So I tell him to get a little crazy and add some ornamental sprinkles to his. He adamantly refuses.

Cameron decides to go with it though. A little too much…

20131221_141004When Maddy yells that he is wasting the sprinkles, Cameron blows really hard….yep, Sprinkles blew everywhere. But I was ready for it. See that broom handle in the background….

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20131221_140400Maddy enjoyed this project. Cameron did too, but once he made the mess with the sprinkles he quickly left the kitchen and said he was done. I didn’t yell, promise. Maddy did. Cameron got green sprinkles on his red star…..

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So Maddy put a little more red to cover the green…

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I tell Maddy we have to save some of the sprinkles for the ones that are done. I just need to make an icing, but first I have to google it because I am pretty sure Ann is lying when she says to use vodka and sugar….Maddy goes to investigate the ones cooling on the counter. He takes a bite and says, “OMG these are burnt!” I quickly defend myself and say, “Do they look burnt? They aren’t black!” Maddy said, “They are crunchy! Sugar cookies are supposed to be soft. These hurt my gum.”  “Well grow some teeth” I muttered…but he didn’t hear. So I threw those two batches away. I told him I would bake these and make sure they are soft. But I am highly doubtful since they are not thick, plus they are covered in sugar sprinkles….So I stand and stare and watch the sugar cookies for 7 minutes. Then I remembered the mess and started to clean and then remembered I was supposed to be watching and well, guess what, I didn’t burn them! I pulled them out and they felt soft. But once they cooled, apparently they harden up a tad…..Maddy came in and I told him they were soft. I heard him crunch into one. But he was kind. He said they weren’t as crunchy as the other ones. His gums weren’t bleeding or anything. So I am done. No more sugar cookies. Another Pinterest project failed. BUT as I was cleaning the counters, Maddy said this was the best day ever.  So yeah, Johnny Cash knew what he was talking about….Love is a burnin’ thing….

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