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WHEN IT RAINS, IT MOTHERF’ING POURS….

April 17, 2012

Have you missed me? I am needing some much-needed love…I have been gone for ages…doing what, you ask?  Well I thought I would have the genius idea of redecorating…oh I know, I know. I just did the mom-cave…which has been invaded by the boys…I had envisioned lounging in the momcave, eating ice cream and reading books and enjoying the silence…Because somehow in my little brain, that room is soundproof…I will tell you it is not…and if I shut the door and tell the boys to go away, they stand there staring at me,  through the french doors, sometimes smooshing their faces against it, which causes me to scream…it’s just easier to let them in and walk away… Anyway, we decided to replace the kitchen floor. There were several cracked tiles and I just knew one day I was going to fall and land on said crack and break my back…

Here is the new floor…the grout is drying so the kitchen is now in my living room…

Now let me tell you…you can’t get a new kitchen floor, and not repaint the kitchen cabinets…Let me tell you my quick little story regarding the kitchen…When we bought the home 7 years ago, the kitchen was a key lime green…I immediately repainted it before even moving in…but the cabinets were white and being OCD about touching up paint, matching that white was impossible. I recently threw away 5 different cans of white paint…There are a million shades of white out there and I was never able to match it. So last year, I decided to just slap some white paint over the whole thing to cover the 5 different shades I already tried to touch up with. Let me please, please, please tell you to never do this. Because one day, you will be sanding that shit off, and you will learn that doing it the right way is the best way…Not to mention, it’s a tease when you peel off 4 layers of paint, only to find, more paint…So I have 30 doors and drawers in the kitchen…My dumbass was sanding by hand and was developing carpel tunnel in my shoulder. Is there such a thing?  Then Annie tells me to buy a sander, they are super cheap. So I buy a sander and yes, its cheap, and yes it did the job, but the garage was covered in dust. Actually still is….Ryan, GOD BLESS HIM, chipped in to help too…He knows my level of stress was at the point of psycho-bitching out…

After a couple of hours of sanding, and having numbness in his hand due to the vibrating sander, he finally said, I will pay someone to do the doors. That’s all I had to hear, and that sander was packed away before he could finish the sentence…So I hire a guy to spray the cabinet doors. He tells me to go to Sherwin Williams with my door and have them recommend the best paint…This is where it gets good…I take the door in and the Sherwin Williams manager tells me, “Hey, this is oil based paint, you can’t paint over it with latex…” DING DING DING! This was all I needed to hear to understand that it’s not me being the bad painter…its the paint!!! Having never thought of oil based paint, or even using it, I agreed to buy a gallon…Warning, oil based paint is expensive…I think the gallon I bought cost $55.00. But I will tell you that paint is beautiful. Its perfect and it went on perfectly. I literally screamed with delight, as did Ryan when I painted the frame of the cabinet with it. We love it. And we are now oil based paint lovers. Latex is dead to me. I want to hug the Sherwin Williams guy, but that would be weird, wouldn’t it?

So I repainted the frames in the kitchen and the master bath… The master bath has 17 doors and drawers that are also being painted…this is where my luck starts to wear off….My painter picks up the doors and drawers and I am anxiously optimistic about getting them back in a week.  I am at this point done painting the frames and they are cured. Wrong…. He calls on Good Friday, and I am thinking, “Perfect! Just in time for easter!” when I see his name on the caller id…  But he has bad news…someone broke into his shed and stole all of his painting equipment and left my sad, tired looking doors and drawers….The good news is he was insured…But we have to wait til he gets his check and then for him to buy more equipment and then repaint….It’s now going on 3 weeks later….3 weeks later of having everything on the dining room table….

Ignore those pizza boxes…that was lunch today and the kitchen table was still in the living room…

Once the doors and drawers are on, the cabinets will be gorgeous.

 yes, we love our shake and bake hot and spicy…and yes those are chocolate chip cookies on the stove…that dish was full this morning…

note to self, reorganize those cabinets…

master bath…ignore the plunger please.

and lastly, the jacuzzi tub which the boys are missing daily…I refuse to let them take a bath until the doors are back on….

Now on top of the  new kitchen tile and the cabinets being repainted, we had the dining room, and all 4 bathroom repainted. Why? Because the bathrooms were done in flat paint and needed a semi-gloss paint because the steam from the showers were causing the paint to peel…So all the bathrooms are repainted and shiny and pretty. We decided to focus on the master bath, so we redid the cabinets and redid all the hardware. We went with the oil rubbed bronze fixtures and purchased new faucets and wall hardware and outlet and light covers, and cabinet hardware. The only other thing that needs to be replaced is the jacuzzi tub faucet and door handle. The old fixtures were bright brass fixtures = dated….Now I decided to frame the huge builders mirror on the wall thanks to Pinterest…I will tell you, save your time, save your sanity, SAVE your money….I won’t go into details because it causes me to stress eat and as you can see I already devoured a plate full of cookies….And I just popped open my last Coke…but I will tell you, the molding/trim for the mirror was not expensive. I want to say it cost $35.00 in trim to frame the mirror. It was a bitch to paint and antique it the way I wanted it to look….but the expense came when I tried to liquid nails that fucker up there. Sorry for the language, but it’s true…All the blogs said to use liquid nails for mirrors….I did, it didn’t work…not only did it not work. It made a huge mess…and by the way, you would think me scraping and cleaning dried glue off a mirror for an hour and a half, with a short sleeve shirt on, watching my arm fat flap like crazy would make me not eat a plate full of cookies, but wrong my friend, it made me eat 2 plates full of cookies ….In the end, I velcroed that shit up there only after having to pay a glass company to come out and mount it to the wall.This is where the expense came in.  Because guess what? The mirror wasn’t glued to the wall like the blogs said it would be…it was merely sitting on 4 clips, that weren’t even screwed into the studs, mind you…Let me tell you, it was by the grace of God when that mirror came off the wall that Ryan and I caught it and carefully moved it into the tv room. How it didn’t shatter, I don’t know but I was cussing like a sailor and thanking God all in the same breath….It can be done, I assure you..Does the mirror look perfect, hell no, but it does look better and it’s not coming off the wall….

  you can’t tell but that mirror is antiqued to look like the light covers pictured here…

  because I am that anal to matchy match…

I repainted and antiqued this frame and put it above the toilet…because everyone needs a framed monogram above their toilet, right?

And then I found a place for these dark candle sconces I bought back in the day from Kirklands and put them above the master bathtub.

So soon the master bath will be done….Ryan says in a few years we will retile the bathroom and replace the vanity top with granite, but believe me when I say, this is LAST on my list of shit to do.

I repainted the tv room a darker brown because Cameron pushed the theater chair while it was reclined into the wall. It caused a hole and since we did not have the original paint in that room, we had to patch the hole and repaint the whole room. It’s so dark and cozy and comfy. I love it. I’m not completely done with it, but when I am, I will post pics…Same for the half bath…Its been repainted and is in the finishing stages of being done, so I will post pics when its done as well.

The dining room was repainted the same color as the master bath, its a nice light beige color, that works well with the yellow in the entry way. I fell in love with this frame that Ryan’s Grandma Hazel had. She gave it to me, which I will tell you made my whole year!

It was beautiful as it was, in its gold color, but the dining room hutch has silver accents on it, so it clashed with that. So I repainted it and antiqued it in a goldish color, just because it looked better with the gold antiquing than it did with the silver…I used it to frame our family rules…you know me and my vinyl lettering…I am hooked…

  I bought the vinyl lettering off Etsy for $25.00 bucks!

So, we think we are making progress….cabinets will be done, we are looking at granite countertops for the kitchen…actually had an appointment this afternoon to pick out color and schedule installation…when the rain this weekend changed everything…We now have a leak…and after our contractor, Terry, climbed into the attic via the ceiling hole in the closet, which by the way is the size of Maddy, and had to be emptied and cleared out last night, so he could climb into it,  he climbed back down to tell us its bad….BAD, BAD….There’s mold , lots of it.

       this is mold behind the insulation in the wall…

  this is mold behind the base boards…..

Walls, ceiling and wood floor will now have to be replaced….Seems last years storms caused damage to the roof….so we are trying to contemplate whether to pay out-of-pocket, which means no granite or carpet…GASP! OR  file with the insurance and risk them raising our rates yet again…GULP….That’s me stress eating…I have eaten countless cookies….I refuse to count. I just know there are 3 left….and this was my lunch…that I inhaled by the way….That is fried potato salad from the restaurant in the clubhouse…

 uh, I ate most of it before I thought to take a picture…and that is a Philly cheesesteak to go with it…on the plus side, they tasted perfect….PERFECT…

Let me tell you…there is nothing fat-free and waist friendly about FRIED POTATO SALAD….and images of my arm flab flapping still haunt me…but I ate that salad…and am thinking I need it for dinner too….Stress eating…that’s my weakness….Oh and scratchers….I thought, with this bad luck, surely, maybe, just possibly the lotto gods will let me win $200,000/year for life….

Please, oh please, dear god....

Eh, the gods were not on my side today….I won nothing on this expensive ass scratcher…NADA…I won $10.o0 on another…but its hard to be excited about $10.00 when you are expecting a $200,000 winner….

So while I wait for Ryan to help decide what we should do about the motherf’ing roof, I’ll be eating…. Yes, when it rains it pours, and I am now out of coke….this is why my blog is called my bitchy blog…for days like today, when bitching is all that I can seem to do…I’m off to Caseys for some more coke and possibly scratchers…..

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 17, 2012 8:06 PM

    Good lawd, I love you. I do. Totally.

    Like

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