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Damn holidays….

December 18, 2011

So I love me some Holidays…ok, wait…I love me some holiday food….so this holiday, I thought I was being good…

So either Victoria’s Secret Pink pants have dramatically changed in sizes, or my ass has changed in size…

Picture this…I adore yoga pants. Since before I had Maddy, I have worn Victoria’s Secret yoga pants, not the Pink version, just their version, the classic kind…

I live in these…I am not a jeans girl…So I swear by these and yes, they cost $50.00 but they last….

I only buy black, and yes, they fade, so I buy two at a time when they are on sale…But I love them. They never tear or shrink and they always, always maintain their shape. I LOVE THEM!

So when PINK came out, I decided to try them…I bought the boyfriend style sweats…you know the kind, the kind that have the boxer-style butt….and “PINK” plastered across it…and my pair have lasted me at least 3 years now…no holes, no  rips. I would like them  longer, which is my main complaint about PINK pants. They don’t let you choose your length measurement… So, ahem, I am older and a little, ok MORE than a little wider, and I’m thinking my ass doesn’t need to shout “PINK!!!” on it, you know? Because when I do wear them, Maddy yells, “Pink!” and when I say, “what in the hell are you talking about, Maddy?”   He says, “your butt says Pink…” so its time for a different style…

So I ventured out and bought two new styles last week…I bought this one..The “vintage flare” pant…

Because yes, my thighs may have a little chub, but its better on my leg than on my ass….and then I bought the cinched bottom version, called the Wear-everywhere pant… you know, so I could wear them everywhere, since now, my Jeggings are tight…and I mean TIGHT!

They came in the mail last week…I was so ready to wear them, that I stripped down right in the mom-cave and screamed when I tightly pulled them over my bedonkeydonk…They only covered half my ass. I had some major ass cleavage and no panty that low that I could wear with them…surely not, right? Surely, its the style of the pant? So I pulled out the wear-everywhere pant…same damn predicament…I was so disgusted, so pissed, so mortified at the ass cleavage, that I just threw them back in the saran wrap package and wrote on the invoice, What the hell happened to your sizes?!?!?  Then I drove like a bat out of hell to the ups store to drop them off. I wanted no daily proof that my ass had grown…

After dropping off the box, I started to feel shitty. I mean, shit, its not even Christmas yet. The real eating hasn’t even begun…So I drove through McDonalds and grabbed me a McRolo Flurry and soothed my pain…I’m still tore up though…even now as I blog, I am wearing my PINK plastered-butt wearing sweats. I love these sweats…and either I have just stretched the holy hell out of them or PINK has changed their sizings….

Either way, I am sticking with my old faithful…the Classic yoga pant from Victoria’s Secret…I guess I am too old for PINK anyway…btw, I am checking into botox tomorrow…I may be getting old and my ass may be getting saggy, but this face is gonna be TIGHT!!!!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Annie permalink
    December 20, 2011 11:59 AM

    I LOVE ME SOME BAHAR. That Victoria’s Secret shit has never fit this ass. Stop trying to be like me!~ xoxoxoxoxo


  2. Suzy permalink
    April 28, 2013 7:48 PM

    Random Q: do the classic yoga pants shrink if you put them in the dryer?


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