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It wasn’t the most wonderful time of the year….

December 28, 2010

Merry belated Christmas, and I can tell you I truly and deeply mean it this time.  Because a few days ago, I may have said it but in my head there were a few choice words added…Am I the only one who couldn’t get into the Christmas spirit this year?  I can say I tried! Let’s begin with the decorating…

say goodbye to my leaning tree...

In the last 5 years, it’s always been the same…I get the tree and decorations out after Thanksgiving, and decorate the tree and the fireplace and the staircase, and its all done the same night!  This year, I got the tree out, the pre-lit 9 foot tree we bought from Sam’s 4 years ago and I will tell you for future reference, the shelf life of a pre-lit tree is 3 years. Last year, I remember a section clearly not lighting up, so I just strung some lights through there.  This year, it was the tree with mange…the lights that worked were sporadic and didn’t make any sense, there was a section here, and a section there, and then freaking  5 whole sections that didn’t work and that was just on the bottom layer… None of the plug-ins were color-coded and after three hours, I was ready to burn that bitch. Ryan clearly saw my frustration and promised to buy a new tree next year, so I decided to go ahead and leave it up, even though it was leaning,  but made Ryan promise to string the lights on, and “make it perfect”, I added…Perfection, I’ve discovered is relative…My idea of perfect is not being able to see that the string lights are just thrown up there….Ryan’s idea of perfect is just opening the package and walking around the tree and making sure they plugged in and lit up….I should have known this when I saw him opening the box and 10 minutes later going to bed….At 2 am, I finally got the sense to say fuck the garland and look at the tree and saw the lights and burst into tears and fixed it. I would have screamed but I really thought I might stroke out, so I just cried instead. This is what I do, while Ryan sleeps peacefully.


I’ve already bitched about the garland…so the fireplace had a new look this year…I went with the simplistic look…

By the way, for all those bloggers out there who show pics of their mantel and garland and endorse 3M command strips, do everyone a favor and tell them to attach the command strip and leave them for an hour before immediately hanging garland…I found this out the hard way.  What usually takes a night of decorating took a week. It was probably the end of the first week of December before everything was up…and so that’s why it feels like I just put the tree up and now its time to take it down?!?! I’ll wait…Usually I am anal, and have it down before New Years, but I am thinking the middle of January sounds good to me.

You would think I would have the Christmas spirit because all day at the store, all I listen to is Christmas music….I love it, me and Cameron dance around to it, but nope, all the dancing this year didn’t get me in the spirit of Christmas.  I usually love shopping. I love going to the mall and being in the crowds and coming home to wrap…But this year, if I didn’t find a parking space close to the door, I drove off…I have developed this fear of being robbed in the parking lot, probably because there have been so many freak robberies lately…so everytime I left the mall or Wal-Mart and it was dark or after 10, I would rush to the car, or pretend to be on the phone and immediately hit lock once in the car. It was stressful. I didn’t even wrap the presents til Christmas Eve….I’m telling you, no matter how many times a day they played, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” I never once agreed…I am so glad Christmas is over. My boys are spoiled. Its our fault, I know. Look at this pic of the toy room…I get pissed just looking at it…

Seriously, you couldn't even walk through the door...don't get me started...

So I redid the room. It was first the guest room, then Cameron’s room. Then the toy room, and now it’s Maddy’s room. We went with the sports theme…I have yet to buy the bed..because I am a slacker and have been sick, but hopefully this weekend it will be done and I can show you the change! Cameron’s room underwent a makeover…It’s a Bumblebee Transformer/Thomas the Train/Disney Cars room..What, you ask? You didn’t know they made room kits that split them up like that? Oh, well that’s because it is a Bahar original…Basically, Cameron had a Thomas the Train room before…and when he couldn’t sleep in the cute, expensive train toddler bed, we sold it but kept the toy box…They don’t make a Bumblebee Transformer toy box, and since Cameron’s room, was Maddy’s room, and Maddy’s room was done in Disney cars…well, I just got lazy and kept most of the stuff up and added to it…who cares, right, he’s 3! Maddy’s is much more organized and feng shui…not really but it sounded good, and it looks it compared to Cameron’s…

I even waited til Christmas Eve to take the kids to get their pic with Santa. That never happens. It was literally 5:45 when we left the mall, and the picture is priceless. Out of 5, I got the one where Cameron has the most of a smile you will ever get. Maddy’s pic all looked the same, a big cheesy smile, but Cameron had the frown going…I asked later if Maddy told Santa Cameron was on the naughty list because that’s what the pic looks like…he said,”no, but I should have”…I agree. Maddy did say that this Santa did not have the same color beard as the Santa at the school…I asked what color school Santa’s beard was, and he said, “grey”, and I said, “well he probably didn’t take a shower that day”…shit, this lying santa stuff is getting more and more complex…

Maddy smiled and Cameron said, “I get coal?!?!”
Now the one thing I have yet to tell you, before you look further at any pics, is that I thought, perhaps, I was not in the Christmas mood because I was late…I didn’t have a period in November, but didn’t think much of it because the Mirena is quirky like that. But this month, was different. I’m never not in the mood for Christmas. So, Christmas Eve I took a test. It came up negative and I will admit that 80% of me did not want to be pregnant because of so many reasons….
1. Money.
2. Age.
3. The heart doctor recommended no more children…that’s all Ryan had to hear and he was done.
4. Lack of patience and so on.
You get the idea… but 20% of me was a little excited at the thought…It was just the night before, that I was in Macys and saw the baby velour Puma and Ralph Lauren outfits and silently wished Cameron was still small enough to fit in his. I thought about the pink and brown room I wanted originally when I was pregnant with Cameron and thought he may be a girl…I thought about how much this little girl would cost us…but then the line showed no positive sign and my heart sank a little and though I was relieved, I secretly kind of hoped to say to Ryan, “there’s a bun in the oven!” So I stuck it in his stocking, because I didn’t have anything else to stick in it except for candy and cologne, and plus I thought I would get a little enjoyment out of his shock. But he played it so diplomatically and cool. He didn’t scream, “WTF!”  He just calmly asked what one line means…I told him it meant we weren’t pregnant and he let out a big sigh…as did I. Because deep down, I thought I was pregnant and the thought of another baby was so sweet and so lovely…
This is how I have made Ryan go grey…


I had decided early on, around the tree -trimming time, that I was not going to have a big dinner for the extended family, but did decide I was going to have one for our little bunch…So I ordered a Honeybaked Ham, baked a Cajun turkey breast, made a new sweet potato recipe (sucked),  mashed potatoes, Ann’s stuffing recipe, and made some overheated, crunchy rolls.  It was way too much for just us…I took a pic and yes, I made us all sit at the dining room table.

Winner, Winner, Turkey dinner!


 It didn’t get us in the mood…if anything, it made us tired. Ryan fell asleep, blame it on the turkey, less than 30 minutes later…see the pic below…and 4 days later, we still have leftovers and I understand Ryan’s disgust with turkey and ham now.  Next year, no ham and turkey for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Turkey induced coma starting...and that's Ryan's leg by the way..

BUT…The highlight to dinner was dessert…I ordered this Mt.St. Helens cake from the local dessert boutique in town.

Everything is edible, even that perfect poinsettia, and yeah, that's my Krispy Kreme's in the background..what of it?

 She specializes in cupcakes, but she makes cakes too. I had no clue this cake would be..

 1. This huge!!!

2. This good!!!

3.This huge…oh I said that already? Well it was the biggest, prettiest Christmasy cake ever!

Liz Easton has a little, perfect dessert boutique downtown in Joplin and its called Cupcakes by Liz…She has this cake in a miniature version, called the mini Mt. St. Helens, which I always buy and tell Ryan I bought specially for him, but always eat it before he gets a chance to, because I am bitchy like that….I save him the chocolate covered strawberry though. I have some heart…I will say I lied and tried to pass it off as my own. Ryan said maybe if I had dropped it and then put it on a plate, then it could pass as a Bahar cake…wasn’t that mean and cruel? As if I didn’t have baking issues already…

 He made up for it though by buying everything on my list….not the I-pad, but the Barnes and Noble Nook Color, which I love…I am currently reading George Bush’s new book…I will give you a book report 500 pages later. Yeah, 500 pages…He said Macys didn’t have my boots but I told him that was ok, I could still get them online…He thinks I have too many shoes…Ha! Is there such a thing? Puhlease. He bought me the leopard fur purse. Oh yes he did! But the damn strap broke before I could put anything into it…So I am returning it for another…I got my leopard gloves to match as well…and I already had the matching scarf, so you can say it, I’ve become my mother…It’s ok, I accept it. Ryan got and I say it as he says with such disgust, “Cloooothes…”…but don’t forget the $200.00 in cigars too, buddy…I told him he needs to trend it up. I can’t be the owner of Trendsetters and he not be trendy but he wasn’t buying it…oh well.

So now, 4 days later, I am glad Christmas is over. I am resolving to not make any new years resolutions…because I am trying to let go…Be less anal..Be less controlling…Be less…period…Speaking of less…I bought the Jillian Michaels workout DVD…Don’t laugh, it’s still in the wrapper. I bought it 2 weeks ago. But soon it will be unwrapped and I will try it. I will probably pull every muscle, but I will try. I have yet to start my period, took another test, still not pregnant. Mirena’s side effects say that after the first year, you  may stop having periods but 3 1/2 years later, really? It decides to finally kick in at the most stressful time of the year?  That’s my luck for you. So from our house to yours, I hope you had a Merry Christmas. I hope you made Santa’s nice list, which I shouldn’t have but I think he felt sorry for me. I really missed my friends this year. I missed my family. It was definitely a year of ups and downs. There were moments of rage, of anger, of  peace and of  happiness. It seemed chaotic, at best, but the bigger picture is much more serene. We have our health, our home, our family and friends, near and far, and shouldn’t that be enough? For now, it is.

Oh, let us not forget the cake….This slice is for u…

I slice as good as I bake...

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Annie permalink
    December 29, 2010 7:53 AM

    Well it may not have been the most wonderful time of the year, but you are the most wonderful friend. We still have the old Santa photo the boys found on the counter and it’s amazing to me how much Maddy looks the same. He is precious. And Cameron – that dude has grown by leaps and bounds. I love them both.

    As for our chaise lounges, well I see them in our future 2011. I know this because I know that asap, both of us are going to go out and just buy one and then when berg & ryan give us the incredulous face, we will just roll our eyes an walk off. Yes, that is my plan.

    I saw a no-lights tree at lowe’s for like fifty bucks. it wasn’t tall, but it wasn’t pre-lit. i dunno.

    You’re beautiful and your home is beautiful.
    Love you.


    • December 29, 2010 8:01 AM

      I was at big lots last ngiht and saw that leather chaise and almost texted You and said, should I buy? But it wouldn’t fit in my car…I sure missed you this christmas…if u were still here, I would have camped out on ur couch and we would have ate that cake with a fork and guzzled schwans margaritas while the kids tore the house apart. I’m so glad its over but I miss you tons. Sent from my Samsung Epic™ 4G


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