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The buck stops here…

December 14, 2010

So last week, I blogged about the Scrooge in school, remember? Well, my mom came to visit, and we did our usual shopping and going out to dinner thing we always do when she is in town…So over dinner, I casually mention the Scrooge in school to my mom and tell her I blogged about it, and how I also threw her under the bus for how she broke the news to me. Yes, my mom does not read my blog, she just learned how to use the computer last year…ok, I exaggerate, the year before last year is when she learned, because she bought a laptop off QVC….Only my mom would buy a laptop off QVC or HSN…they are both the same to me… and it was a Dell. Which I won’t tell you what a piece of lovely shit my Dell laptop is because it’s no longer working two years later…Luckily, my mom’s still works, but she only gets on it to pay her HSN bill and QVC’s bill. Yes, she has mastered online banking as well. I could digress here and tell you also, that she bought the cooling laptray that the Dell sits on, for a mere $100.00…and the treadmill she also bought for $1500.00, and who knows how much shipping, which is now in the basement, unused…HSN and QVC love my mom, and I will say, if I turn it on, I will get hooked too, but I rarely buy…rarely…but when I do watch, I buy, so I don’t, because I am my mother’s daughter…and I do spend money like my mom, and I have now developed a love for animal print. Gaudy. I know, my mother, I know!!! I will come back to the animal print later…

 Anyway, every once in a while she will ask, “what’s the name of your blog again?” and I will say, “Bahar’s bitchy blog. It’s not that hard to remember…” and she will try to type it in and then call and say, “I typed it in and can’t find it”…and I will tell her not to put spaces or apostrophe’s in it and also to use “www. and end it with .com…but by then she has moved on to some new anti-wrinkle cream advertisement that popped up on her screen. She doesn’t understand the genius’ of spyware and cookies either.  So when I tell her about how I am still deeply disturbed by the way she broke it to me, she immediately says my memory fails me, and it was the kids in school that told me there was no santa. I told her no, because I can remember the scene exactly, sitting on the floor, in front of the couch, writing out my list on the coffee table…she disagrees and wants me to make note in my next blog, so I am, but I will tell you I am pretty sure I am right and she is wrong. I mean, you can’t fake a memory, right?

So fast forward to last night…I was in a bad ass mood. That’s what lack of sleep and no heat will do. Yep our damn heater went out and on my days off, I like to stay in my pj’s…not fully clothed like I am getting ready to walk out the door. And that’s what I was dressed like. even had the socks on because it was COLD!  So this confused Cameron, because he is used to pajama wearing mom and dressed up mom. So I heard, “Mama, bye-bye?” no less than 500 times yesterday. Because he too, was dressed up and bundled up. The first heat and air guy tried to take all my Christmas shopping money. He said the part alone was around $800.00 their cost, not including labor…I didn’t hold my tongue and told him that was bullshit. We had a mini stare-down contest, til I won, and he shrugged and said, “well that’s what it’s going to cost…”  I told him he could look a little more deeply, since he came to that figure in all of 3 minutes…When he came back in, he told me he turned the gas off because he thought it was pumping carbon dioxide throughout the house.  I told him I would pay his service fee but would not be buying that part, and would also be speaking to his boss, the owner of the company, whom I know personally.  He said he would just mail it and left. So out comes heat and air guy # 2, and guess what, my part this time only costs $125.00, and we bought a carbon dioxide detector and it never went off, though, I will say I had the worst headache ever yesterday and was paranoid I was dying even though I knew heat and air guy #1 was full of shit. So Ryan comes home from work with some of those nice fake logs I love. He said, wouldn’t it be nice to sit in front of the fireplace after the kids go to bed? It may even be romantic, if you can get out of your bad mood… So Maddox and I start to take out the candles I put in the fireplace in lieu of logs, and Maddy sees the hole and asks how Santa can fit through that? I didn’t notice the hole and just said it was magic…Later, I take out the shrimp and make us a nice dinner. I tried, but the bad mood won… I made shrimp scampi linguini with bread, of course, and I downed some margaritas too. But the mood still lingered…So Ryan starts the fire, Maddox has already fallen asleep and we think Cameron is asleep, when I lay in front of the fireplace and get all cozy, and then I hear his feet come running down the stairs. Bad mood returns…but here’s my long-winded point…I never noticed how small the hole in the fireplace was til I was laying down in front of it. Seriously, my thigh has more circumference than that hole (ok maybe not, but pretty close), so no wonder Maddy is perplexed as to how the jolly, fat Santa can fit through that hole.  I thought the hole was as wide as the fireplace…shows how much I know. I just never thought to look. I just simply believed. Crazy Bahar. I know. So now, I need to figure out how to make up a story about Santa coming in, because I know Maddy isn’t going to believe this next year.

We have most of the shopping done for the boys. I hated buying them toys. I should take a pic of the toy room tonight to show you what a mess it is and how Ryan or I am the only ones that ever clean it…I want to post it but its such a mess and it propels me into the cleaning and throwing away mood…so I will refrain for now…I will say I am converting the toy room into Maddy’s room. Maddy and Cameron clearly cannot share a room. I don’t know how Ann got all 4 of her boys to share a room, did she beat the crap out of them? Did she lace their dinner with Benadryl? Because Cameron and Maddy can barely be in the same room together without a fight starting. Its ridiculous, its awful, it makes me in a bad ass mood.  So, for Christmas, they get toys (ugh!) and new rooms with new beds and decor…and mama gets…well here is my wish list….

Let me just begin by saying I am not a black Friday shopper…the one time I tried to go, I went with Ann, to buy powerwheels at Wal-mart for the boys, and we walked into Wal-mart, watched everyone running around and yelling, and we calmly asked the first employee we saw if they had any powerwheels left, and they laughed and said no…so we left. We knew better to be in the middle of that madness. So we decide to check out Kohls. I was in the mood for a new comforter. So mind you, this is how clueless we are…We see people standing, we see people holding a ton of items, but we ignore them, we get our comforters and toys and walk directly up to a register and hear this roar of pissy comments. Turns out the line wrapped all the way around the store, and I do mean, all around the whole store…So we calmly sat our stuff down and walked out. After that, we were done. We went to chick-fil-a and ate chicken biscuits. So this year, Wal-Mart has a big sale on big screens, but the sale starts at 3 am.  So I know Ryan wont get up, why? Because I asked, and he laughed and said no. So I set my alarm, because this is what I do, what you ask? Everything, I do everything…  So the alarm goes off at 3. I fell asleep at 1, so I said screw the tv. I get up at 5 to pee, and think, well maybe there is a tv left. So I put my contacts in, get dressed, slap some lipstick on and head out. I go to Webb City’s Wal-Mart first, and of course, there is no more tv’s…I knew this by the sign that started in produce that said, “50” plasma tv line starts here…” Seeing as how electronics is on the other side of the store and in the back, I didn’t need to walk any further, so I leave. I call the other Wal-Mart and ask in my nice voice if they have any tv’s left and after being put on hold and then being told they will call me back because they are too busy, I assume that it’s a ” no”  as well. But as I am driving out of the parking lot, my phone rings and its the Manager of the Wal-Mart across town and he tells me he has one! I ask if he can hold it since I am en route, and he says yes! So I am thinking I deserve an award here…at the very least a standing ovation. As I am waiting in electronics for them to bring the tv up from the back, I notice the makeup aisle across from me, so I wander over and grab three packets of eyelashes. because I am running low and they are on sale. So when people ask if I went black friday shopping, I say, “yes, we got a big screen and I got some eyelashes”…My point is, it’s mama’s turn…so don’t get disgusted at my list…and mind you, half of it is on sale, because I can respect the need for thriftiness…

First and foremost is the Ipad…but its not a must have…I want to play on one first to see if I really like it…




I love these animal print gloves…I can already hear Ryan moan, “REALLY?!?!”  but yes, I love them.  They are $29.00 at Macy’s and 20% off too.








I also love the leopard purse, but I can easily rock the camel colored fur one as well….It, too, is on sale. It was $75.00, but is on sale for $54.00. And yes, I have looked at the market websites of purses I use for my store, and no, I cannot find one like this, Ryan.










I also love these boots…I am on a boot kick, I know…These are also on sale…they were $69.00 and are on sale for $34.50.  I would like them in Taupe, so far all of these are available at Macy’s, and I have some coupons for you too, Ryan, in case you need them…they will be in my purse inside the inside pocket…


Of course, I can always use a Nook Color….or the new Android Tablet.. or that leather chaise I saw at Big Lots and fell in love with for the mom-cave, it was so damn comfy!  Or those hot pink Coach rainboots I have been watching on ebay for the last year…the black and white Coach poppy purse that I am in love with, with the matching wallet, and no, there is not a replica version yet….and a pedicure, and a manicure…and a weekend getaway…and Lasik! How awesome would that be? Ryan, you could give me the gift of sight!

 Oh well, I tried. I put some of my wishes out there but the honest to goodness truth is we buy what we want all the time anyway. Christmas is more for the boys than anything. I love watching them tear open the presents, and the hours of silence that usually follows, although last year, I bought two drum sets and two police motorcycles, equipped with its own siren (because my bad ass kids don’t know how to share, so we have to buy 2 of everything…) so last Christmas was not so silent..but this year, there are no noisy toys!!!  And that my dear Ryan, is the best gift ever for both of us, and you know what that means? We can nap and not hear drums and police sirens!

 Now just for giggles…I want to show you what I did with the gift Ryan bought me last year…It was the Flip Video Camera…And I was so tickled by scaring the boys in that tornado simulator, that we chose to video a little fear for Maddy….Its posted below…but Cameron is next…and then Ryan… and that, dear readers, will be priceless.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Carrie permalink
    December 15, 2010 6:42 PM

    seriously!!!! that video almost made me pee my pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  2. Annie permalink
    December 16, 2010 7:38 AM

    “a flat screen tv and some eyelashes!”

    GAWWWWD! I miss you. I started to read this yesterday in the car when Stacey and I were going to Sam’s and I closed it and told her that I knew I was going to have to wait to read it at home because she wouldn’t want me to pee in her car!



    • Annie permalink
      December 16, 2010 7:39 AM

      But seriously? No mention of that fabby off-the-shoulder jumpsuit. HAWWWTTTT!!!!!! I know you ordered it. Don’t deny. Testify!!!


  3. December 17, 2010 7:49 AM

    ann, Rob told me you bought it, so I will wait and see how hot u look sporting the animal print, jersey housewife look….but honestly, I bet my mom bought it…


  4. March 29, 2011 1:16 PM

    it is a pleasure for me visit your blog.


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