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Oh the joy…

December 5, 2010

Oh the joy of Christmas time…I so love hearing the Christmas music, love watching people bustle through the mall holding their packages, love people watching. But I hate doing it with the kids and when its freezing outside…Last night, Ryan decided we should take the boys to the mall, let them ride the rides they bring out to drive parents crazy during holiday shopping…I should know, because we weren’t even holiday shopping, and I heard, “Mom, Mom, Mom, Can we ride the merry-go-round..” literally 20 times…By the time we made it to the merry-go-round, I just told them to get on the damn ride and sat down. I was over it. Over lugging my heavy coat, Cameron’s coat, my book purchases from Vintage Stock, the 5 pounds of candy Ryan let them pick out, ok maybe not 5 pounds, it was more like 1 or 1.5 but for almost $20.00, it should have been… But our mall also has this little capsule, that if you step in it, will simulate what its like to be in a tornado….Being from Oklahoma, I am familiar with the winds and the tornado’s and kind of miss it. Ryan and I always were amazed by tornado’s and once watched it hit a power transformer less than mile away and saw the most brilliant color of blues and purples I ever seen until Ryan decided it was time to get inside and take cover. Which we basically walked back inside, grabbed the keys and started to drive after the tornado…that’s how we take coverage.  We just loved watching it.  So after a $20.00 trip to the candy store, (big rip off for gummy peaches and strawberries) and a trip to the food court for our lovely dinner, and of course the damn merry-go-round, we head to the arcade, my most loathed place in the mall. And on the way, we passed the tornado capsule and I hear, “mom, mom, mom, can we get in?” and Ryan and I look at each other and say, “get in!”  These kids had no clue what was in store for them and apparently, other parents were in the same mood as us, because before Ryan stuck his money in to start the tornadic winds, there was a group of 15 people standing all around us, huddled to watch my kids scream in horror. These are my kinds of people. I loved every moment of it and my cell phone was dead, so I couldn’t use my camera and before I could tell Ryan to take a pic, the capsule starts it wind countdown. At first, my kids think its like standing in a big hair dryer, because the winds slowly climb from 1 mph to 5, their hair is flying and their clothes are flapping and Cameron is laughing hysterically and Maddy is screaming like a banshee because he thinks he is funny when he does it (he isn’t, it drives me crazy) but then the wind picks up dramatically and its now at 20 mph and Cameron’s laughter turns to fear, instantly. I love it! This is the part where my heart stops and I get all giddy. I know, there is something wrong with me , but I love it. Next thing I know, he is screaming hysterically and I am laughing and so are the 15 people surrounding us, as well as Ryan. And when I say I am laughing, it’s the loud Bahar laughter, it’s the wrong kind of indoor laughter…and the next thing I know Cameron has his hands up against the glass door, screaming and then manages to open the capsule and run out. I am trying not to pee and laugh so loud and he is so upset he basically runs around me, then runs straight down the mall. I take after him and he thinks I am trying to put him back in the capsule, which I wouldn’t do but by the time I catch up to him, 3 stores down, Maddy has jumped out as well. Ryan said he made it to 80 mph, and I am sad he didn’t stick it out, sad Ryan didn’t get the pic of their cheeks flapping in the wind, but so thrilled that it scared the crap out of them and that they didn’t want to ride anymore rides. I loved it. I know I will never be able to get them back in that thing, for sake of getting a pic and posting it on here, but oh, it was perfect. And even more so was the crowd that surrounded us and didn’t think we were the worst parents in the world for putting our 3 and 6-year-old kids in the tornado capsule…I loved it. LOVED IT….I loved also, how later, after the kids were in bed, Ryan and I started giggling hysterically about it again and Ryan says, ” If there wasn’t all those people standing around, I would have locked them in the capsule” and I laugh even harder because I know I would have done the same. We’re awful, I know….

On a completely different subject but along the same lines of horror, I get this posted video link in my email Friday night. You see, Ann and Jennifer won a weekend trip to the Lodge to see Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond. I entered this contest as well, but did not win, as well as 30,000 other people, but my neighbor down the road, Jen, wins. Small world, I know. So I text-stalk Ann the whole time she is down there, because by God, if I didn’t win, I was going to be in on every detail…My jealousy begins with the goody bag they all received, but Jen also won a brand spanking new blue Kitchen Aid mixer….That’s ok Jen, I have the white one that Ryan’s grandma Hazel gave me, and I love it, so I’ll give you that..Then Ann texts me pics of the room, and the bathroom, and the kitchen and the food, and I am starting to cuss…But I am happy for them…Next thing I know, my cell phone is dead from my constant stalking of Ann’s weekend, and I come home and watch Polar Express with Maddox and fall asleep exactly 10 minutes later. I can’t watch cartoons, its like  Ambien for me. I wake 2 hours later to hear the house phone ringing, which I assume is my mom, because no one ever calls the house phone except my mom and the politicians during voting time. I get up and out of Maddy’s bed and see Ryan stumbling down the hallway, because he too, fell asleep with Cameron, watching cartoons, and I ask if that was my mom who called and he said, “No, it was Ann”. Shit! I run to the phone and call her back and she immediately asks if I am pissed? I tell her I just woke up, why? And she tells me to get on the computer and check my email. So I stumble across the room and get the laptop started and my contacts are all stuck to my eyes, so I am taking them out and asking her more questions, and by the time I get the contacts out and the glasses on, I hit the play button on her email titled, “A Special Message” and watch this…in horror…you can click on this link…

So now Pioneer Woman, Ree, knows my of my caketrastrophe….thanks Ann.  But I’ll put my big girl panties on and make a chocolate cake, and it will be beautiful, and it will be good…Just wait and see.

One Comment leave one →
  1. December 7, 2010 10:24 AM

    Hey Bahar! Jenn and Ann talked about you constantly last weekend, so I had to drop by your blog. =) When the PW recorded that video for you it was hilarious. And she really did make that cake look like easy stuff–even for a non-baker such as myself.


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