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The bitch quit cooking…uh, and cleaning, well not really, but no more OCD cleaning..

October 3, 2010

So I didn’t realize that it had been so long since I blogged because I have become lazy. Yep, believe it. LAY TO THE Z.  I can partly thank myself and this blog for some of it…You see, who knew the hubs would read every word I said and take it literally.  He, the master one-liner, the ever sarcastic, or as he claims, “the one with the sense of humor” (I emphatically disagree) does not get my sense of humor, my wit, my skillz. So as all you know, I “jokingly” blog about my husband’s lack of household cleaning/chores. Well I guess it hit a nerve, because after 10 years, the man is cleaning. If I could somehow insert that sound clip of the angels singing, I would, but I have not become a master of this website yet… So since the burn, I have mentioned I stopped cooking…so, uh, 2 months later, I may have cooked, eh, 5 or 6 times. Big sigh, I know. I just don’t want to. No underlying fear, though I will admit, there is a just a tiny bit..I just don’t want to. And Ryan only cooks pizza rolls, nuked, by the way, but we are out and I have no desire to go to Sams, so I have been buying frozen Tony’s pizza, which he will bake, because he has become accustomed to me not cooking. Though, I will say, he does not complain, and I have to secretely wonder if I really am not a good cook at all, so therefore he isn’t missing it.

I tried to attempt to make meatloaf last week. Ryan used to love my meatloaf, but I, being lazy, didn’t want to go to Wal-mart, so I went to our tiny grocery store in town. I use a mixture of ground turkey and chuck, and wouldn’t you know it, no ground turkey. I asked the meat people and they looked perplexed and said they should have turkey, and I asked, “where it would be?”  “By the turkeys,” the meat lady replies…”Ok,” I say, “Where’s the turkeys?”  So she sighs, and walks out from behind the meat department, (she is lazy as well) and walks to where I have already looked several times, and says, “oh, I guess we are out of turkeys..” I’ll omit my bitchy comment…anyway, I wander through the store wondering if I should ditch the meatloaf idea, because I didn’t have all the ingredients…This is where I think a little of the OCD comes into play, I say that because I would rather be called that than a control freak..So, while I am walking and yelling at Cameron to stay with me, and multi-tasking in my head what else I could make with ground chuck, and still have mashed potatoes, I see frozen turkey sausage in the frozen food fridge. This is where that light bulb went off and I thought I should try something new…I quickly read the back of the frozen sausage to see what was in it and all I could understand was turkey breast, so since I didn’t see any spices added, I figured it was the same thing as ground turkey…Let me tell you it is not. I kind of realized that when I squeezed it out of the tube, and it wasn’t the same whitish color as ground turkey, this was more pink and whitish, but I ignored it. So I go about making my meatloaf, thinking I am getting back to the old me, cooking for way too many, but cooking at least. Fast forward to dinner…it didn’t taste right. it was ok, but not my meatloaf…. I didn’t hear Ryan complain because I think he was just happy to get home cooked food. The night I made it for them, I had reservations with a friend at a wine tasting/dinner, so I skipped out on the meatloaf.  But because I don’t know how to cook for 3, because Cameron’s diet still consists of goldfish crackers, french fries, and cookies, there was lots of leftovers. So the next night, I warmed it up, still proud of myself for cooking and making enough to not have to cook again for a few days, and we ate it. And 2 hours later, I had the worst bout of heartburn and acid reflux since being pregnant. I literally was moaning in pain. It hadn’t hit Ryan yet….until I received a text message the next day that said, “I HATE YOUR MEATLOAF”.  Yep, Ryan had a date with heartburn/indigestion and it lasted all day and all night. Later that night, when he was lying in bed, moaning, I promised not to ever make it again. So the two staples, I knew how to cook by memory, and often, are now scratched off the list forever. First was chili, now meatloaf. Chili met its doom when we all came down with the flu, after eating chili, and somehow throwing up chili for days, swore us off it forever. Even taco soup reminds me of chili, so I guess we can add Taco Soup to the list too…

So cleaning…well, Ryan’s still at it. I do my share, he does his share, and I am content. But lately, I started to notice little things, like stains on the carpet,  dirty finger prints on the staircase, painted trim that needs to be touched up and I have not done anything about it. This is how I know lazy has moved in, because the old me would have called the carpet cleaners out to steam clean, would have spent all night with my little paintbrush and 3 cans of white, all different shades, because whoever built this damn house used 3 different shades of white that I have yet to be able to match exactly. So the old me would have painted and touched up, magic erased the stairs and dusted and cleaned and vacuumed and polished, but I have not.  And I have to say, I am enjoying it. I bought some miracle cleaner from a travelling salesman, not because I don’t know how to say no, but because the shit works.  Now I just need to drive to Target and buy the steam cleaner on sale, and then I will never have to call Stanley Steamer again. But, I haven’t had wanted to go to Target, even though my store is almost across the street from it…I did magic erase the stairs and walls. Score one for me…The kitchen is always clean because we don’t cook, the floors are always clean, because, well I am anal about crumbs on the floor…The bathrooms are clean, the laundry is always done, because I hate seeing it lay in baskets unfolded or unhung, the only things I haven’t been doing is dusting, cleaning the toy room(Ryan’s job), pulling weeds, watering the flowers and bushes (daily prayer for rain), buying new plants for the ones that Cameron destroyed in the house and re-potting them, well you get the picture…What I am saying is I have finally learned to let go, a little…and I am running with it. Am I still overwhelmed, at times, yes. Do I still feel like I can’t take on one more thing, Hell to the yes. But am I that angry bitch, no. I know Ryan can now hear the angels singing…Does the fact that I am not doing as much mean I have more time with the family, more me-time, more Ryan-time, no. I feel that has stayed the same. I forgot to take Ryan on that movie date… So how does lessening up the to-do list still not make more time for other things? I guess, lack of time-management. Lack of order/structure, planning…internet surfing, ok! I have become obsessed, ok not obsessed, but am a little addicted to a few new websites.  One is called houzz.com. I sent the link to a few friends, but I don’t think they are on it as much as I am. And I have already started coming up with ideas of redecorating, which I know will Ryan interpret as money, money, money, but I will post some pics soon, and show you it wont be as costly as Ryan thinks…Besides, its time! We have had the same layout for the last 5 years, time for change! Time for something new! But I have to start from the ground up, and that means with the carpets, once the carpets are cleaned and new looking, then I will go room by room….So this is where my time has gone, between the store, being on call, football games twice a week, school drama with Maddy which I will blog later about, Cameron’s incessant interruptions to talk to me in a semi-coherent language, and running around town for dinner, and blog surfing on houzz.com, because once you are on that blog, you can see a million other people’s blogs about decorating and it’s just a constant click of here and here and here…and add to favorites, add to favorites, add to favorites….check on Ebay for this, go to Hobby and Michaels and price this, you see…so maybe my OCD has just transferred from cleaning to now something different? Is that how it works? Anyway, lazy has moved in, I kind of like it, kind of don’t…I’m anxious to go with the flow and see how long I can ride.

On a completely different note, have any of you watched the movie, A Killer Among Us?  It was the movie filmed in Oklahoma, and was only released in certain theaters, nowhere near here though…Ryan rented it for us the other night, and we watched it last night, and I will say it is quite graphic. No kids around anywhere! Cameron woke up in the middle of it and I was so paranoid about him seeing parts of the movie, for fear that it would turn him into a…well I wont say, for fear of it happening. Yes, I believe what you say, you can make happen. I’ll blog about that later too….Anyway, it was a good movie, morbid, yes, different, yes. Made me feel naive. Like I can’t fathom people being that way, people doing those things. I am naive. I came away thinking I was strangely normal. That being a good thing.

On a sour note, Ryan just walked in and asked what I was doing,” bitching?” ” Excuse me,” I say,” I don’t bitch”, and he replies,” it’s called Bahar’s bitchy blog. There’s some bitching going on.”

“Who won the game”, I asked (silently knowing the Seahawks lost) and he says,” they lost…”

Guess who’s the bitchy one?

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. iamsurly permalink
    October 3, 2010 8:41 PM

    I should give you my recipe for meatloaf… it includes Fritos and no heartburn!

    Like

  2. steph permalink
    October 3, 2010 10:15 PM

    What about cooking in a crock-pot? no burns..well I dont think it is possible.. throw it all together and one pan to clean. Throw it together befoe work, ready when u get home. I have some good recipes. Do u own a crockpot?

    Like

  3. October 12, 2010 6:07 PM

    ::ahem:: I have read all of Surly’s recipes (from the cards) … I don’t remember any fritos or meatloaf????? She is holding out on me.

    And YES! That shit works. I am a believer!

    Tell Ryan I said for him to put a sock in it and get back to washing those clothes. I need to read these. They make me smile. Make me feel like I’m at home again right in the middle of it.

    Hang in there. You are anything but lazy. Distracted is even hard for me to believe. I just think you’re having fun and you know what ???? That’s OK! It’s more than ok. Sometimes you gotta let that other crap slide in exchange for whatever peace you’re finding elsewhere.

    You are always so hard on yourself. You’ll get around to the touch up paint and you’ll get your cooking groove back. I have no doubt. Right now, though, just keep telling me about your days and get those pics up! I wanna see!

    Love you 🙂

    Like

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