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Who the hell sleeps thru a root canal?!?!

September 5, 2010

So for all you curious friends of mine who wonder how the root canal went, I will say it in 3 words. I FRICKEN LOVE VALIUM. Ok, that’s 4 words but you get the idea.  Let me begin by saying today is a new day indeed. It’s the first day that I have woken up in a good mood and have stayed in it since the burn. I don’t know if its because I am so sick of my bad mood self or what. I just know I am not going back. So, I start the morning off yesterday on the way to the dr’s  for my arm. On the way there, I have to take the valium the dentist prescribed for the root canal. The instructions said to take it an hour prior to the appt, but I cheated and took it an hour and a half prior. What’s 30 minutes? Well, in Valium-land, it’s a huge difference.  And I can already hear Ryan clicking his tongue, saying , “I told you not to take it”  because he did, and I, of course, ignored him and swallowed the pill, and told him to stuff it… 30 minutes later, waiting for the dr. to come in, I am asleep in the waiting room. She walks in, and looks at my arm and says she thinks it looks better than last week but maybe I should go to the wound (burn dr.) in town and have him look at it. At which point, I burst into tears. Why? Because I am unstable. I am a mess. I am so sick of this stupid arm and I tell her all of this. I tell her I am a mean, angry person, who has no patience for my kids, customers or husband. And that I am sick of being this way, but the minute one thing goes wrong, I am done for the day and I can’t continue to live like this. She asks if I am taking the pain pills and I tell her no. I tell her occasionally at night, I will pop one to help me sleep because I wake up every night scratching my arm til it bleeds and burns. She asks why I am not taking the pills and I tell her because I don’t like taking pills, I am not a pill taker. And I have been on antibiotics for 3 weeks and its all I can do to pop that pill 4 times a day, but I am so scared of getting a staff infection or any other infection, that  its the only thing driving me to take the antibiotics. My doctor is so sweet and comforting, which makes me cry harder. She says she thinks I am overwhelmed and in pain and need to take the pain pills. I tell her the arm doesn’t even hurt unless I scratch it. She asks what about when you touch it. I tell her I don’t touch it. She asks what about when I wear a long sleeve and it rubs against it, and I tell her today is the first day I have worn a long sleeve shirt. She then reaches across and touches the burn and I flinch and she says, “See, its a bad burn, it hurts. Take the pill. And then I am going to prescribe you an anti-depressant for you to take for 6-8 weeks, just to get you through this burn healing time.” I instantly shut down inside and think, “shit, 6-8  more weeks of this! Ryan is going to kill me, no scratch that, I am going to kill Ryan.” And I instantly tell her forget it, I am not paying for an anti-depressant, I’ll change, I’ll be happy, I’ll look at the brighter side of things. And she gives me the samples and tells me to take them the next time I burst into tears and to just try taking the pain pills on sunday every 4 hours and see how that changes my mood. I agree and she makes an appointment for me to see the wound doctor next thursday.  I will tell you I walked out of the office determined that I would not see the wound doctor next week. I will do whatever it takes, if it means no itching or cleaning or whatever, but I am not going to another doctor over this arm. So then we head over to the dentist. They get me in right away, and my Bradley Cooper look-alike is very comforting and reassuring as well. He asks if the valium has made me relaxed and I tell him it has made me very tired. He says that is ok, and if I want to sleep through the root canal, I can. And guess what, I do. I wake up occasionally, wondering if I was snoring. He gently pats me on the shoulder and tells me how great I am doing and I am thinking I love valium. I ask if I can “pleeaaah aaaaavvvvv a bannnkeeet, I cold” and he understands me!  I am not particularly fond of the biting down on a 3 inch block for an hour, much less trying to talk with it in and having the left side of my face suctioned at the same time, but I lived. I went home and slept for hours. Best sleep ever. No dreams, no tossing and turning, just black, dead sleep. Aaahhh, it was heaven, I tell you.  I woke up at 6 pm to tell maddy good luck at football practice and ended the night in a tornado watch. I loved it. The weather is changing, so its not 100 flippin degrees anymore, and my air conditioner isn’t running 24/7, which means, thank god, the bill will be less than $400.00 this month. So see, its a new day, I’m much happier. I took my antibiotic and took a few tylenol for the tenderness in the  mouth and haven’t scratched yet today!  (Shit, knock on wood quick!)

I firmly believe that there are people out there that do need to take a pill to make it through the day. I don’t think its wrong, its just not for me. I don’t want to be dependent on something or someone to make me happy. I want to be happy on my own. And maybe I just needed someone to just scream at me to get over it, to quit being such a crybaby, to quit being such a whiner (and even though Ryan did a little bit, he didn’t count, he just pissed me off more). Maybe I would have  straightened up a long time ago. But maybe I just had to hear about the wound doctor to freak me out. But either way, the antidepressants she suggested went into the trash. The pain pills are in the closet, and I am taking Tylenol. And I am getting over it. So what, its a burn, right, or as Ryan jokingly says, “Man up! Shit!” and then he smiles that “Oh shit, I’m just kidding” smile and I remember why I love him. Because he has no sense of humor but thinks he is the funniest man alive….Tomorrow, he is taking me to see the Last Exorcist, and I cannot wait!

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